A freshly dog-eared review
The Most Unhinged Books You Had to Read in School
(*Seriously, why were 13-year-olds reading Lord of the Flies?)
School reading lists are wild. One minute, you’re reading about a friendly spider saving a pig, and the next, you’re knee-deep in The Scarlet Letter, questioning why your 10th-grade English teacher thinks public shaming and Puritan repression make for a fun class discussion. Who decided these were educational? Why were we collectively traumatized by these books before we were even allowed to drive?
Buckle up—this is a trip through the most WTF books they made us read in school, ranked from “mildly disturbing” to “therapy-inducing.”
1. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Ah, yes, the book that introduced an entire generation to the horrors of unchecked male aggression. Nothing says “child-appropriate literature” like a bunch of preteens forming a murder cult and sacrificing each other to a pig’s head on a stick. If you read this in middle school, you probably spent a few sleepless nights wondering how long you would last before someone yeeted a boulder at you.
2. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
You thought this was just a nice story about two dudes traveling together during the Great Depression? HA. Hope you enjoyed having your soul ripped out when that scene happened. Also, why did every English teacher make us watch the movie adaptation with the most heartbreaking performance imaginable? Just let us suffer in peace.
3. The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
“Hey, let’s teach 16-year-olds about Puritan slut-shaming!” This book was basically a 17th-century Twitter cancellation, complete with public humiliation and the patriarchy ruining lives for sport. Also, the fact that this was considered appropriate but Judy Blume got banned in some schools? Make it make sense.
4. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
You either thought Holden Caulfield was so deep and misunderstood, or you wanted to slap him. No in-between. Either way, this book was every high school boy’s excuse for an existential crisis, and we all suffered for it.
5. 1984 by George Orwell
Nothing like some government surveillance and existential dread to spice up sophomore year! This book made everyone paranoid for weeks, and let’s be real—half of us still randomly think, “Big Brother is watching” whenever our phone suggests an ad for something we swear we never Googled.
6. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
“Oh, you don’t like getting out of bed in the morning? Here’s a book about a guy who wakes up as a giant bug, gets completely ignored by his family, and slowly rots to death in his room!” Thanks for that, English class. Super uplifting.
7. The Giver by Lois Lowry
This one tricked us. We thought we were getting a cool, futuristic society where everything was peaceful. Nope! It’s actually about mass euthanasia and emotionally stunted children who don’t know what color is. Also, the ending still haunts us. Did Jonas survive? Did he freeze to death? We will never know.
8. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Schools were really out here making 17-year-olds read about a dystopian world where people pop pills, have zero emotional connections, and live in a hypersexualized society—then they wondered why no one paid attention in class.
9. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
A book about book burning? The irony of making students read this while banning actual books in schools should not be lost on anyone.
10. Night by Elie Wiesel
One of the most devastating books ever written. If you got through this without openly sobbing in class, you might be a sociopath. No jokes here—just deep, soul-crushing trauma.
Honorable Mentions (Because They Still Messed Us Up)
- To Kill a Mockingbird – Racism, injustice, and that courtroom scene.
- Animal Farm – We all thought this was about cute farm animals. NOPE.
- A Separate Peace – Just boyhood nostalgia and crippling guilt.
- The Grapes of Wrath – Nothing like Dust Bowl depression to brighten your day.
- Crime and Punishment – Required reading for overthinkers who enjoy existential despair.
Final Thoughts
Why were we forced to read so much psychological torment before we even hit legal adulthood? Who made these syllabi? If you had to read any of these books in school, congrats, you have survived the emotional rollercoaster that was classic literature.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to reread The Giver and pretend I still don’t understand the ending.